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Nickolas has a doctor appointment this afternoon. That always makes me nervous, like it�s really an examination of my parenting skills instead of his health. I know he�s healthy, but he was too tired last night to give him a bath, so there�s probably dirt under his fingernails or tomato sauce in his hair. The doctor will take one look at him and conclude that I never bathe him and I let him run wild in the street and don�t put him in a carseat etc. Of course none of that is true, but this is a bad day to look at him and draw any conclusions. Especially if we have to bring Lukas with us � he�s even dirtier. Oh jeez, why didn�t I just suck it up and give them both a quick bath last night? We have got to do something about Lukas�s sleeping situation. We put him to bed around seven because he has to get up early and he�s a monster in the morning if he doesn�t get all the sleep he wants. At the old house (OUR house), he would play quietly in his room for half an hour, maybe forty-five minutes, and then climb into bed and go to sleep at eight at the latest. Now, he destroys his room for three hours while screaming and pounding on the walls, floor, door, and windows until someone comes in there and calms him down. Then he�s quiet for about four minutes and it starts all over again. This lasts until about ten-thirty when he finally collapses from exhaustion. Come six-thirty in the morning, he has definitely not had enough sleep. As soon as I open that door, after �You cuddle with me,� it�s �Close door, Mommy. Leave Luke alone!� It takes way too long to wake him up and I end up late for work four out of five mornings. Yes, I know I could wake up earlier, but of course I�m not going to do that. Sleeping is probably my favorite thing to do right now. The home life with the parents is getting progressively worse. To the casual observer, it may not appear bad, but try living it every day. My mom has something to say about every little thing I do with my kids. My dad has something to say about every little thing I feed my kids. So what if all they want to eat this week are hot dogs and animal crackers? That never killed anyone. They�re little, and they�re picky. I�m lucky they�ll eat anything at all. Nickolas turned eighteen months old yesterday. Eighteen whole months that he has been making me unbelievably happy. I�m not playing favorites here, Lukas has my heart just as much, but it seems sometimes that the only thing Nickolas has in mind is making me smile. If I�m quiet, or sad, or angry with Nick about something, he knows. He�ll come waddling up to me (oh, the walk on this kid! You�d have to see it to believe it. He doesn�t bend his legs very much, he just swings them around so his whole body gets into it, and his little cheeks jiggle�you would just die.), climbs onto my lap, lays his little curly head on my shoulder and says in his strange transplanted thirteen-year-old voice*, �Hi, Mommy!� And then he giggles and points to the sky and says, �Airplane!� except that always comes out like �Ammeen!� but it�s so fucking cute anyway. Then he runs away to his little clubhouse under the swingset and can be heard muttering to himself �Hi baby. Yeah? Okay!� *My son has the lowest baby voice ever. He actually sounds like a thirteen-year-old boy. It�s very disturbing to hear such a low voice come out of a tiny little kid. Not that he is at all small � he was nine pounds one ounce at birth and at eighteen months weighs almost thirty-five pounds. And he�s only a little bit chubby. He�s going to play football for sure. Wish me luck if he has to get shots today. His voice is not only low, but it�s very very loud. Hooray! Nick just called and we have an appointment for Tuesday evening to do this bankruptcy thing. That�s one step closer to Arizona! Once that�s paid for and final, I will be relieved of so much stress. Then all we�ll need is the $2,000 for the truck and so long, Illinois. Hey � get back to work! Kids are: Last person who pissed me off: Heard in my house: Miss Anything? pics - 2007-06-05
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