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at 2004-07-16 around 12:13 p.m.

Today I feel like doing a horribly morbid quiz that was taken from I don�t even know where anymore because it�s been filtered so many times, but I think most of the questions are from The Book of Questions, which is a book that teaches you terrible things about yourself, but is worth a try.

Here goes:

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

I have two answers for this one. First, I would regret not insisting on more from a former lover and never telling him how much he meant to me, and how much I loved him. I never told him this because before I could tell him, he died, and I regret it every day of my life. Second, I would regret not telling Nick about the doubts I have regarding our relationship. I haven�t told him because he�s very defensive and would see it as an attack no matter how I phrase it.

If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1 percent of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?

Isn�t there a risk factor like that with every drug? Are these people allergic to the drug? I would probably want more testing to be done. Arthritis isn�t cancer or AIDS, you can live with it.

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Hmmm, this is a tough one. My great-grandmother is still alive at 101, and she still has her mind and it really pisses her off that her body has almost completely failed her. On the other hand, it would be awfully strange and hard on everyone around me if I lost my mind but still looked like I was thirty. Still, I�m going to go with the body because who�s to say I will lose my mind? The body will definitely go, but the mind may stay sharp. Well, as sharp as my particular mind can ever be. You know, sharp like a baseball.

If at birth you could select the profession your child would eventually pursue, would you do so?

Sure, because kids need another reason to resent their parents. Who would do this?

If you knew there would be a nuclear war in one week, what would do? (you can't stop it)

Probably lots of telling people how I really feel about them. And lots of crime sprees, lots of drinking, and all the drug combos I was too afraid to try. Okay, probably not. I would probably spend it crying and holding my babies.

Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant you had to die at the end of the period?

Um, I don�t know. No. I�m too afraid of dying.

If the person you were engaged to marry had an accident and became a paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage or back out of it?

Does my fiance still want to go through with it? I would respect his wishes.

Someone very close to you is in pain, paralyzed, and will die in a month. They beg you to give them poison so they that they can die. Would you? What if it was your mother?

My mom already is in pain and paralyzed, but (I hope, does someone know something I don�t? Now I�m ready to cry) is not going to die in a month. But if she was, I think it would be selfish not to help them. If they had all their affairs in order and whatnot, the only reason for them to stick around would be for the sake of those around them, and someone who wants to be dead isn�t very good company. Example: my great-grandmother.

Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as your dinner guest? as a close friend? as a lover?

Dinner guest: Jon Stewart. I have been saying for years that I want him to come hang out on my couch and watch TV with me, so we can make sarcastic comments about everything we see. Close friend: I don�t know, someone who can make me laugh, and make light of my problems with me. I don�t know who that would be. Lover: I love having Nick as my lover. But it would be fun to have, say, John Cusack or Christina Aguilera.

What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering? (it cannot involve any physical harm to you)

Having to watch someone harm my kids or my husband. Don�t think about this one for very long or you will freak out. Trust me.

You and a person you love deeply are placed in separate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know that you will both be killed unless one of you presses the button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first to press the button will save the other person, but will immediately be killed. What do you think you would do?

If it was one of my kids, I would press the button without hesitation. If it was Nick, I would want us both to go because I wouldn�t want to live without him and I�d like to think he wouldn�t want to live without me.

Would you be willing to go to a slaughter house and kill a cow? Do you eat meat?

Yes. Yes.

For $20,000 would you go for 3 months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone, and there would be no long-term effect on your life. (you are not choosing one, you would have to go without all three)

Um, it would have to be way more than $20,000 for three whole months. I can�t go three hours without brushing my teeth. I carry a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse.

Which of these restrictions could you best tolerate: leaving the country permanently or never leaving the state in which you now live?

This one is easy. I hate Illinois.

If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?

No! Even though I want all boys, I wouldn�t want to make it a boy. And physical appearance? That�s creepy. Besides, my kids couldn�t be any cuter.

Would you be willing to decrease your life expectancy by 5 years if you could become extremely attractive?

No.

If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly tell you what they really think of you, would you want them to?

Oh yeah. It would be a rockin� good time.

Would it disturb you much if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods and left to rot? Why?

Kind of, but I don�t know why. I don�t believe in any sort of afterlife. I guess just the thought of my body being eaten by animals is sick. I got a lot of use out of this body, imperfect though it may be, and that should be respected, I guess.

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?

No.

Would you be willing to give up all television for the next 5 years if it would induce for someone to provide for 1,000 starving children in Indonesia?

Do you go immediately to a flaming dungeon if you say no? I don�t watch a whole lot of TV anyway, so of course I would. Are there people who wouldn�t? You people are sick.

Not that this isn�t long enough already, but I found out yesterday that Nick has a court date late in September, so we can�t leave at least until then. Yep, everything is going great. I�m fine. Just fine. Fine.

Kids are:

Last person who pissed me off:

Heard in my house:

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