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at 2004-08-03 around 9:39 a.m.

I can�t make myself work today either. I have too many things on my mind to worry about things that don�t affect me at all, like work. A pretty callous way to feel, but there you have it. I�m also starving and I�m trying to keep my hands busy. This is becoming an increasing problem for me and I don�t want it to get out of control, but I�m so tired, which makes me hungrier and less apt to exercise. I get eight hours of sleep, it doesn�t seem to be enough lately. I think my sleep pattern has shifted or something, because I sleep like a freaking rock now, and I never did before. Whatever, maybe I�m just getting old and tired and fat. My mom said she never had to struggle too much with her weight until after she had kids, and I do take after her in the stupid-body category. Lucky me.

RRrrrrr I am so irritated this morning. First, Nick locked my keys in my car, which is probably my fault, I shouldn�t leave them in there but whatever, I still had to bring the kids all the way back up the driveway, back into the house, and I had to run all the way down to the basement again. Did I mention my parents� driveway is a HUGE hill? And that I was parked at the very bottom of it in the street? Well, it is, and I was. So after he couldn�t find his keys for a few minutes and finally found them in his pocket (duh), I got the kids back outside, back down the driveway, and went to open the car and � no carseats?! Oh yeah, Nick took the kids out in my dad�s van yesterday and LEFT THE CARSEATS IN THERE. RRrrrrr. Why can�t he put things back? I always do for him. So I shoved the kids in the backseat, said �Hang on,� and whipped back up to the top of the driveway to where the van was parked, got the carseats installed in record time and whipped the keys from the back door down the basement stairs. I hope he can find them later. No I don�t. Jackass.

So I was a bit late for work this morning, and didn�t get to say goodbye to the kids as much as I�d like, so I�m going to be crabby all day because damn it, I really don�t like leaving my kids with her, and it�s days like these when I say to myself, �For all the bullshit and guilt, is this really worth it?� Of course it isn�t. Try telling that to my husband. If we�re going to scrape by, oh do I wish it was me who didn�t have to work. At least then the kids would be with me instead of daycare and we could save even more money. That�s enough of that though. I have bitched about variations of this subject way too much lately.

After all that, when I finally did get to work, I find out I have to change the password to all the databases because one of the bosses has been trying to go in and inflate her year-end figures without going through accounting to do it. You know, just changing them herself because that�s how she thinks they should look. Ah, integrity. I hate this place. I changed the password to something so random she�ll never guess it. Serves her right, like she doesn�t already have enough money, she has to cheat to get more. No wonder there isn�t any left over for me.

Kids are:

Last person who pissed me off:

Heard in my house:

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