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at 2004-09-01 around 10:06 a.m.

So our new receptionist started this morning. In the first five minutes, she informed me that she does not do computers, does not type, does not understand the phone system, knows nothing about insurance and probably won�t retain anything I tell her.

Oh. That�s funny. Because those are the things we hired her to do. The very same things at which she claimed to be an old hand. The reason that we hired her, instead of someone who would require intense training.

So it will be my pleasure to train her. Look for more snark on this one. I�m sure it�s forthcoming.

While I was adjusting the �kick me hard� sign that the universe seems to have affixed to my forehead this morning, I noticed that my car is missing a hubcap. That sucks. So I took them all off. Now I look like a super cool FBI agent or something. I�m in deep cover, baby. Carseats and all. Also car-related: on the way home from work with the boys, I had Em!nem playing on the radio (I know, whatever) and Lukas and Nickolas totally started doing this synchronized gangsta rap head-bob thing in the backseat. I was dying laughing. I have no idea where they would get something like that, but I am so glad they did. It�s priceless, I tell you.

Something not so funny? The basement flooded. I, um, live in the basement. That means when I got out of bed this morning, my feet hit the floor and went sploosh. I almost said fuck it and just got back into bed and tried again, but then I remembered that I am a grown-up and if something goes wrong, nobody is going to fix it for me. So I woke up Nick, who told me that he knew last night that the sump pump was �doing something funny� and that he�d fix it later. So when it was only water on the concrete floor, it was okay and he didn�t see the need to do anything? Now it�s all over the carpet and yes, all my clothes that were not in storage and wet are now at home and wet. This is fucking awesome. The best part? I love this. I told my dad, and he wasn�t concerned. Like at all. Like it doesn�t really matter that all of my belongings are being systematically destroyed by his evil Amityville horror house and if I don�t have any clothes, I�ll have to buy more (or go naked, but that�s scary) and then I won�t have any money, and I�ll live in his soggy ass basement forever. But oh well, someone will fix it if we just ignore it. Or maybe the whole house will float away. If he doesn�t care, then I guess I don�t either. Tonight I�m going to Men@rds to buy a whole crapload of those Rubberm@id totes, wash and dry all my clothes and put them all in those. I don�t care if they fill up the whole living room, at least they�ll be dry.

Life. Is. Great. Isn�t it?

I�m off to train the untrainable. Yippeeeeeee.

Kids are:

Last person who pissed me off:

Heard in my house:

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Miss Anything?

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