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at 2005-05-05 around 10:03 a.m.

I need a camera phone. There are so many stupid things I see that I need to share with the world. Like the guy I saw at a work meeting the other day who looked JUST LIKE David Cross, who I happen to ADORE. I kept looking over at him and I think he thought I was a little crazy. Did I mention that this work meeting had an OPEN BAR? How do you think they got me there, with my evil mother in law, an hour away? With the promise of free dinner and as many Captain Morgan�s and Sprite as I could suck down my gullet. The bartender was a little insane, which usually works in my favor. She filled the glass up halfway with liquor and the bottle ran out. For some reason, she decided that there wasn�t enough liquor in the glass and found another bottle (which was in her hand, but it took her a while to find it anyway) and filled the glass the rest of the way up with Captain�s and then splashed a bit of Sprite in it and handed it to me. Awesome.

I just talked about a single drink for almost an entire paragraph.

We didn�t shoot the hawk yesterday. We were only going to shoot at it with a BB gun, which isn�t really all that loud, but seriously, Art�s idea to get a slingshot was GENIUS. I was about ready to go to the Evil Empire and buy one, but then the hawk saw a field mouse and he was gone, thus eliminating my need to eliminate him.

I got through an entire day at work yesterday without doing more than one or two work related things. I blame this on Crate�s new message board. It�s completely addicting. So is this one, but for a much different reason. I have to credit Jessie for showing me that last one.

My shirt is bothering me.

I think I may have gained 6544986164 pounds last night because Sallie gave me a recipe for homemade corn dogs and I made the mistake of telling Danielle, who is completely addicted to corn dogs, and Nick, who is completely addicted to deep frying things. So we drank a ton of beer (I�ll quit later) and deep fried everything in my house. We made sweet potato chips in the oven and took them out and deep friend them. I wanted to do M & M�s but I restrained myself. They would have fallen through the basket anyway.

Kids are: "Shake it to the left, shake it to the right..."

Last person who pissed me off: Driver in front of me who SMASHED RIGHT INTO THE GUY IN FRONT OF HIM this morning. My head hurts. No smashing.

Heard in my house: "You can play with the hose if you don't tell your mommy." This little bitch next door is getting on my nerves.

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Miss Anything?

pics - 2007-06-05
I said I'd update again, but I didn't promise substance - 2007-06-04
I said I'd update again, but I didn' - 2007-06-04
the short version - 2007-05-30
title this - 2007-04-14

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