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So. Last night I learned that if you add buttershots to an appletini, it doesn't taste like the inside of a Jolly Rancher's asshole. I also learned that DMIL is more delusional than I ever dreamed, but that if you just let her think whatever she wants to think, she'll shut the hell up and be all happy-like. That's my plan. Now she'll stop telling everyone who will listen what a horrible person I am, and everyone will stop calling me for her. How did this happen? She actually apologized to me and told me that she figured out all by herself that she has some boundary issues. (For this, I nominate her for the Understatement of the Motherfucking Year Award.) She asked me to apologize for calling the cops, and I said, "I'm sorry that it got to that point." And she accepted that! God I love me sometimes. Nick got a belly laugh out of that one. My kids are being really quiet. I wonder what they're doing. No, no I don't. I really shouldn't waste my time with this entry because to be honest, I'm a little worried about what the boys are doing so quietly. Oh wait, Nickolas just yelled. Then he said, "Boom boom me." Now I hear crinkling. I should really check on that. But I won't. We're going down to give the realtor a deposit on the house tomorrow. I can't wait to see it. I'm like ready to explode with excitement about this. The house? It has a basketball court. I'm like a rich person, in the white trashiest way possible! The best part? Nick told me that if I get unemployment, which will happen according to DMIL, who says the boss is NOT going to contest it, I don't have to look for work until it runs out. (Longest. Sentence. Ever.) Six month vacation, here I fucking come. I deserve it, I've been working since I was fourteen. Ah, Baskin Robbins. Thank you for the permanent clicking thing that my right wrist now has. Ice cream right out of the deep freezer? Is hard. I actually saw a girl break her arm trying to scoop ice cream that hadn't warmed up yet. Dumbass. It was super gross. I have to wake Nick's ass up. He bugged me for hours this morning to get out of bed, saying that I was a lazy bum and "time's a-wasting" and all that happy morning person shit and when I finally got up and into the shower, the fucker went back to sleep. He is so dead. Kids are: I Dream of Jeannie. I have never seen this show before. I wasn't really missing much. Last person who pissed me off: DMIL still. She's just plain batshit crazy. Heard in my house: "Can I kiss your belly button?" Uh. Sure. Miss Anything? pics - 2007-06-05
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