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at 2005-09-04 around 12:39 a.m.

I know. I suck. But here's the thing - I have nothing interesting to say. I mean, besides a(nother!) pregnancy scare (negatory, thank the stars) and some scary problems with the way I've been thinking, I got nothing. NOTHING. I don't call anybody, I don't write anyone, I don't even make entries in my own private journal. You might say I'm going through a thing. If you were ghetto and it was 1998, anyway.

DMIL and Nick are upstairs passed out on three pitchers of Coors Light, two Zyrtecs and a Xanax apiece. For some reason, I am still awake. Probably because I don't do Zyrtec. (I'm the only person in the world who really isn't allergic to anything. I pretend that I am allergic to bees because they really like me and they sting me all the fucking time, so I need to stay away and being allergic seems like a good excuse to run away and make someone else take care of it. Oh yeah, I'm crafty.) (Longest. Parenthetical. Ever.) Anyhoo, I am working on killing a bottle of St. Louis something or other chardonnay which is WAY classier than me but is still managing to make me pretty woozy.

Sallie told me a long time ago that if you're feeling down about yourself, all you need to do is go to a county fair and you will see so many disgusting people that you will instantly feel better. Well, tonight I went to the Tri-County Fair and boy, was she right. There was this one girl we kept running into - she was wearing the shortest little jean skirt and a nasty little white half shirt with at least two rolls hanging out. She had (no lie) at least three teeth missing and her hair was blond on the ends, but black for the first three inches or so. I named her Trashy McTrash. After a few pitchers, I saw her talking to some poor desperate guy and yelled, "Hey, look! Trashy McTrash got herself some loving!" That's when Nick decided it was time to go. Party pooper. Trashy McTrash wasn't even the nastiest person I saw there, either. Perhaps I just live in three trashy counties, because there were some raunchy people in attendance and it was pretty nice to know that I was one of the hottest bitches there. I don't get to feel that way too much anymore. I miss being nineteen and irresistible. Stupid time, never stopping. Fucker.

So yeah, I don't want to bore everyone with the fucked up things I've been thinking lately. I need to write it all out, but I don't think I'm going to spread it all over the internet or anything. Suffice it to say that it's now my turn to have my doubts about the life I've chosen, but not enough doubts to make me actually do anything about it. Just enough to make me brood and drink and snap at anyone within snapping distance. Right now my husband hates me and DMIL is wondering what my deal is. Even my kids are a little wary of me, which of course makes it eleventy times worse. I can't even do the parenting thing right, apparently.

My parents' thirtieth wedding anniversary is on 9/13. I hope I make it to five. Or do I? See? My brain is all fucked. Will I even post this? Who knows. There's nothing even vaguely entertaining in this. Oh wait, let me say one thing that made me laugh - I took the boys for their school physicals and they kept making me verify Nickolas's date of birth. I insisted he was born in 2002, and wanted to know what the problem was. Evidently, he is completely off the charts for height and weight. Like, WAY off the charts. They thought I was lying about his age, and that he and Luke were twins. Yeah, I lie about that shit because it's just so funny. Uh, NO. The kid's just a moose and I'm sorry. My favorite part? He's 38 inches tall and weighs 38 pounds. He's a square! I knew it. He's a block. I think I'll start calling him Bam-Bam.

I really want some cookies. Someone make me some damn cookies.

Kids are:

Last person who pissed me off:

Heard in my house:

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Miss Anything?

pics - 2007-06-05
I said I'd update again, but I didn't promise substance - 2007-06-04
I said I'd update again, but I didn' - 2007-06-04
the short version - 2007-05-30
title this - 2007-04-14

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