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at 2004-10-15 around 8:47 a.m.

Yesterday was a long, long day. Strangely, the kids never asked why they weren�t at Holly�s house, so I never told them anything. Thanks to everyone who left me notes of support and guidance, I love you all. I still don�t think it has hit me completely yet.

I need a weekend so badly right now. It�s Friday, but I have to work tomorrow too so it doesn�t actually count as a Friday. The weather is dreary and dark and very cold, and I just want to go home and curl up on my bed with a big blanket and some flannel jammies. (Microsoft Word is insisting that the word �jammies� should be �jimmies�. I�m not looking for sprinkles here. They�re not quite as warm.) But no, I am here.

Holly�s daughter just came in to pick up her check and got me going all over again. The wake is tomorrow, and she wants some pictures of my boys to put in the collage of kids Holly loved. This is so hard. I�ll have to have Nick (my little house-husband this week) find some really good pictures of them for her. They�re not having a funeral, just a three-hour wake. I�m not going to bring the boys. It would just freak them out, I�m sure. I don�t know if Nick will come with me or not, if I remember correctly he has an aversion to wakes and funerals. Not that we all don�t, but he avoids them at all costs. Plus he didn�t know her all that well. I was the one who saw her every day when I dropped off and picked up the kids.

Well, I can�t just sit here and cry all day. I�ll have to do something to take my mind off this�I could work, but that wouldn�t be me. So I�ll talk about the google hits I got. One was for �peeing the bed� (great) and the other was for the word �racktacular.� Because, if nothing else, I do have a fantastic rack.

I�m not really into this right now. It has taken me an hour and a half just to get this far. Maybe I�ll try again later. If not, have a great weekend, everyone.

Kids are: Still no music in here. It's weirdly quiet.

Last person who pissed me off: Hmmmmmm. I'll get back to you.

Heard in my house: I could take a break. I'm drained.

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