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at 2004-11-03 around 2:11 p.m.
[This part is actually an excerpt from an email I sent to Sallie earlier. It pretty much said what I wanted to say here, so I posted it. Sorry you already know this stuff, Sallie.] I took Lukas to the doctor this morning for his 3 year checkup and I have to take him to a specialist for the lumps in his neck. He's got a bunch of lymph nodes that are very swollen and matted together, and it looks terrible because he's so skinny it sticks out really far. He looks like Frankenstein almost, poor kid. So I have to bring him to a guy who will probably excise and biopsy them. Great. But he was so good for the doctor, he held still for her while she played with his neck for about five minutes. For a minute there he was almost asleep. We were joking that we may have found his weakness! A little neck massage and he's all droopy eyed and adorable.
So now I have one more thing to stress about, just what I needed. I have come to the decision, though, that if we are going to stay in Illinois, we are getting out of my parents' house like this week. I don't care if we have to go into an apartment, lots of places have $299 moves you in specials and even if it's just for a little while, I need to have my own house again. That is probably 55% of my stress right there, and if I could have that off my back I would breathe a lot easier. For instance this morning, Lukas threw one of his louder tantrums when we didn't have premade chocolate milk and I had to pour in the milk first and then the chocolate syrup. (Spoiled bitch.) He wanted chocolate milk, not milk, and no amount of explaining would get him to understand that it's the same thing, because when you are three, it's not the same thing. So my mom comes in the room and tells me to shut him up so he doesn't wake up my sister. First of all, it's like nine am. Fuck K**** if she isn't up yet. My parents pay her about $450 a week to be my mom's caregiver and she can't even wake up before eleven? That's fucked up if you ask me. Second of all, "shut him up"? Does she not remember what it is like to have a three-year-old? They don't shut up unless they want to, and he did not want to. If I had my own house, I could just set him on the couch and let him do his thing, but this house is so not child proof (still) he'd kill himself or break something. So I had to stand there and wait for him to stop screaming, and my sister came out and bitched that she was out really late and wasn't ready to get up yet (can I get a FUCK YOU?) and I just wanted to scream myself. So I don't care if I have to move into the M*****s (the apartment complex where all the party kids live), I'm out of there. Nick seems to think we can buy a house, but I think he's smoking paint. We have $50,000 in outstanding debt. Yeah, sure, we can buy a house. Let's buy a yacht too while we're at it. Duh. [end of email] Oh, and just to make shit better, I just got served papers for the back rent we owe on our old house. I have had it, people. Had. It. Kids are: "Torn" Natalie Imbruglia Last person who pissed me off: Evil landlord dick Heard in my house: I had a lot more money than I actually do.
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