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at 2004-11-09 around 9:34 a.m.

Once again, here I am at work doing NOTHING. This has got to stop�someone please send me a brain cell or a month�s supply of Wellbutrin or something. Please?

So, as I added to yesterday�s entry, Lukas is okay. I have to keep an eye on him and bring him back if the lumps in his neck get bigger or if he stops gaining weight, but for now they saw nothing to indicate leukemia. That word stopped me in my tracks, let me tell you. They were looking for leukemia in my little boy? I�m glad they didn�t tell me that at first, or I would have been a basket case. But apparently, if the lumps were in the front of his neck they would have been more concerned, but since they are on the back it�s perfectly normal. It�s strange that they haven�t gone down in size at all, but since his little neck is so skinny, they show up a lot more and look scarier than they would in a normal kid. So. Deep breaths, we�re okay. Jesus that was scary.

We looked at a house the other day and we liked it. So we called the landlord to set up a time we could give her a deposit. She told us she would call us back, and she was glad we liked it because she thought we were perfect for the house. Fifteen minutes later she called back practically in tears saying that her husband, unbeknownst to her, took a deposit on the house an hour earlier. Damn. She�s �keeping us in mind,� though. Back to the drawing board.

Everyone in my house has had this flu now. Currently it is preying on my dad, who leapt out of bed this morning and fell right back in it, moaning that he was dying. Ten minutes later he was saying he was off to work. I wonder how far he got before he fell asleep in his truck. My sister had it Sunday, as did Lukas. Nick felt a pain in his stomach on Saturday, which is as sick as he ever gets. (God how I despise that.) Nickolas and my mom haven�t had it yet, but I�m sure they will. Good times, good times.

Last week, a friend that I haven�t seen in about a year called me. It was so nice to talk to her. I really miss having friends. Nick hates her, so I don�t get to see her very often, but I�m trying to figure a way to have lunch or something so Nick doesn�t have to see her. She asked me if I was happy. I just laughed. How do I answer that? I live in a basement. I hate my job. I�m broke. I love my kids, and I love my husband, but happy? I don�t think I�d say that. She also asked me if Nick hits me. (This hating is a two way street here.) I told her of course not, but I don�t think she believes me. She can�t see why I�m with him after the unpleasantness, so she figures I must be too scared to leave or some other such nonsense. I can�t see why they each can�t just get over the fact that I still like them both and can�t we all just get along? So I don�t see us hanging out much, unfortunately. We had some good times together, but if it�s going to put a strain on my marriage, it�s not worth it. My marriage is strained enough.

Someone just asked me if I�m okay. Why? Do I look that bad? Maybe I�ll milk it and go home. Probably not, though.

Kids are: "Arms Wide Open" Creed

Last person who pissed me off: Asshat that took the deposit without checking with his wife. I need housing!

Heard in my house: For a nice meal, in my own home, with just my little family.

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Miss Anything?

pics - 2007-06-05
I said I'd update again, but I didn't promise substance - 2007-06-04
I said I'd update again, but I didn' - 2007-06-04
the short version - 2007-05-30
title this - 2007-04-14

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