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I finally made it to the nail salon to get my talons shortened. Typing is sixty-four times easier now. I'm also on a desktop instead of the laptop, that helps. But alas, the desktop is much much slower than the laptop so I am writing in between Map^quest page loads. For some reason it won't let me just enter addresses, it wants to know what is AT those addresses. Does that really matter to map^quest? Why? Map^quest is nosy as hell. I was just cleaning my room and I looked out the window and saw a man leaving my front porch. I went out to see who he was and I noticed the big brown UPS truck but I couldn't get all 47 locks on the door opened in time for him to see me, and he left. Why is this so terrible? My kids were in the living room, sitting on a couch that is next to a window that opens onto the front porch. The blinds? Are open. They sat there and watched this man come up onto our porch, ring our nonoperational doorbell, write out one of those "we'll be back" post-its, stick it on the door, and walk back off the porch. And they didn't think they should mention this to me. These are the children who hear a horn honking three blocks away and say, "Mommy, why is that man honking? Who is he honking at? Is that a Chevy or a Ford he's honking?" Infuriating. I really wanted the shirt he's delivering me. I want it now. Know what else I want? Soup. I have eaten nothing but soup and chocolate donuts for days. I love being pregnant. Last week it was this sandwich I created with lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, olives, and mustard. Now it's golden butternut squash soup that comes in a cardboard carton. For a while it was only lunchmeat and cheese. Not like on bread or anything, just lunchmeat and cheese on a plate. This is why I am firmly convinced this baby is a girl - I had none of this nonsense when I was carrying the boys. I was just hungry all the time. And now for a little nugget from my boys. You know you missed them. While examining the creche (you know, that nativity scene that Catholics put up in their houses at Christmas), Nickolas picked up the baby and brought it to me. "This baby is cute," he told me. "That baby is Jesus," I informed him. "Jesus is SO CUTE," he shrieked. Then he picked up a Wise Man. "Who's this guy?" "He's a Wise Man." (Do they have names? I couldn't think of any. I felt lapsed.) "Oh. Hey, Lukas. This is a Wise Guy." My children are heathens. Kids are: Last person who pissed me off: Heard in my house: Miss Anything? pics - 2007-06-05
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