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at 2004-12-17 around 9:53 a.m.

Look, I don�t know who has control of my brain this morning, but whoever you are, you don�t know what you�re doing so cut it out. Was it really necessary to have this conversation this morning with the gas station cashier:

Me: *puts my Rockstar Energy Drink on the counter*
Cashier: If you buy three, I�ll make that $5 instead of $6.
Me: No, that�s okay.
Cashier: Are you sure? It�s a really easy way to wake up.
Me: So is cocaine, but I can�t afford that either.

What in the world would make me say such a thing to a person I barely know? He probably thinks I�m crazy now. No, probably not. He probably thinks I�m a partier, with my energy drink and my pink sunglasses that match my pink hoodie. Until I got into my minivan. Then it was back to crazy.

The reason for the energy drink? Lukas decided that 3:30 was as good a time as any for it to be morning, and he was not content to watch TV by himself like a normal person. No, he wanted me to hang with him, and he wanted to play cars. And by playing cars, I mean lining them all up in a perfect square around the design of the rug in his playroom. If one wheel is an inch out of place, he screeches until it is fixed. Then we get the airplane and crash them all. Why the airplane? �Because it�s heavy.� Oh. So for the third day this week, third day in a row in fact, I was up ridiculously early for no reason. It was nice to spend a bit of quiet time with my boy, though. He is so smart it makes my heart swell with pride. As much as a blackened lump of coal can swell.

I made the mistake of not switching the station quickly enough when Britney Spears� �Toxic� came on, and now Lukas is hooked again. �Play my song, Mommy,� he�ll wail as soon as it ends, forcing me to listen again, and again, and again. The alternative is to listen to him cry so loudly that I can�t hear any music at all, so Britney it is. Sigh. At least it�s a good song.

I have some thank you�s: to Dave for the book he sent. It�s one that I have always wanted to read, but never quite got around to. Now I own it. And also thank you for your advice and encouragement. You are truly a sweet guy. And to Monica, for the new Dave Eggers book and (I think) for DDR Ultramix. You are so generous, I can�t even believe it. I was so excited when I opened both boxes, I can�t even tell you. And to Linda, for the clothes for Lukas. He loves the little robe, and he is so cute in it! He calls it his �robe coat� and tells me it keeps him �toatsty warm.� Your videos are buried deeper than I thought, but I only have a few more boxes to go, so they�ll turn up soon. I haven�t forgotten. My husband is completely amazed at the wish list phenomenon. He keeps asking me, �And you�ve never met these people? Really?� Really. You guys are just that cool.

Kids are: "Here Without You" 3 Doors Down.

Last person who pissed me off: Whoever stole my brain.

Heard in my house: "I want three kisses, Mommy. One, two, three kisses."

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