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Nature freaks me out. Last week I saw two male ducks walking down the sidewalk with a female duck. �Awww,� I thought. Then one of the males bit the female on the neck and held her down while the other male raped her. Not so much �Awww.� Just like little duck frat boys. As I type, there is a mama duck with her three or four baby ducks hiding under a car in the parking lot. A big ass hawk is perched on top of the parking lot light and swoops down at the babies if one of them strays out from their shelter. We�re all gathered around the window discussing who has a gun in their car (no one) and who has one at their house (everyone). I had no idea we were such rednecks. We�re going to scare the hawk away with a BB gun. I�m sure this is a terrible idea, but you can�t possibly expect a bunch of women, a bunch of mothers, to stand around and watch a mother and her babies tortured by a big mean man FOUR DAYS FROM MOTHER�S DAY and not do anything about it. Jen wanted to know where I get these stories that I link. The story on the nose mold is that when I was standing in line at the drug store the other day, I saw that stuff on the shelf and I pretty much said exactly that last paragraph there out loud to the guy in front of me. (A complete stranger, of course.) He looked at me like I was smoking paint and didn�t say anything, and the cashier ignored me. (I get that a lot.) So, I came back to work and googled �nose mold� and there you have it. Fucking nose mold. Here I thought I was a clean, sanitary person and there�s mold and bacteria festering in my schnozz. Considering the size of my nose, we have a potential crisis here. Obviously, I need to get out more. Kids are: More damn commercials. On the station that claims they play less commercials. What crap. Last person who pissed me off: Stupid jerk hawk. Heard in my house: "Look Mommy! I'm sleeping! Right now!" Somehow I can always tell when they're lying. Miss Anything? pics - 2007-06-05
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