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at 2005-01-25 around 11:10 a.m.

I am seething.

Last night the phone rang, and Nick picked it up because really, it�s never for me. It was DMIL screeching about how I tried to put my debt to my boss on our bankruptcy so I wouldn�t have to pay him back. (He loaned us money to get our house. He rules sometimes.) Nick tried to tell her several times that wasn�t true, but she kept interrupting him and screeching some more. That bitch can screech. She told him that my boss thought it was true and if it was true then she was going to be pissed. I got up and left the room so she wouldn�t hear me calling her a dirty rotten whore for getting all up in my business yet again because if there is one thing my daddy taught me it�s KEEP THE MOTHERFUCKING PEACE and DON�T MAKE WAVES. (My father with the ulcers and acid reflux? Yeah, him.) Nick came in and asked me why my boss would think that we would try to weasel out of a debt to a person who writes my paychecks, and I can think of no other reason except that DMIL told him we would. Thank you for the vote of confidence. My boss is also a huge gossip, so I can only imagine the conversation that led up to this. Except that I don�t want to imagine it. It will give me heartburn. (Thanks, Dad.)

After chewing a hole in my lip (because that is what I do when I am trying not to take a bottle of xanax and float away), I decided that I would just ask my boss if he was of the opinion that I would be stupid enough to roll him into my bankruptcy when if he wanted money from me he could just not pay me, duh. In spite of the rumors, I do have a pretty good understanding of most things. I may not look smart, but I am. So I asked him. And his jaw dropped. �Why would I think you would do that?� he asked me. Why, indeed. So I told him. I said, �DMIL told me you told her I was rolling your debt into my bankruptcy.� He was speechless. He demanded to know why she would say such a thing, when they hadn�t even been talking about me. (Which I�m sure was a lie.) I said I didn�t know, and I didn�t particularly care, but I hoped that he didn�t think I would do that to him after he was nice enough to loan me the money in the first place. He assured me that he held me in higher regard than my mother in law obviously does, and told me we�d never talk about it again. I hope he says something to her later. And I hope it�s mean.

I feel better now, except for the disgusting festering hole in my lip. I look like a ten dollar hooker, and I�m not happy about it. I bought some Carmex this morning, but everyone knows that shit doesn�t really work for cold sores. Or whatever you call it when you bite a gigantic crater in your lip. You sure don�t call it sexy.

Lukas has the worst rash I�ve ever seen in my life. I don�t know what to do anymore. I actually cried while I was washing him up because there is nothing I can do. I got up in the middle of the night twice to change his diaper, but short of limiting his water intake, I�m stuck. During the day he pees in a urinal, but at night, he�s not potty trained. He�s only three. I spend hours every night when I get home blow drying his cast so it can be dry for a few hours, poor thing. It also helps with the itching, having the air blowing through the cast. If you can�t tell I�M LOSING MY MIND WITH THIS CAST PLEASE GOD LET THESE NEXT 17 DAYS FLY BY.

*sigh*

Kids are: Commercials for Shedd Aquarium.

Last person who pissed me off: DMIL.

Heard in my house: At 2:45 this morning, "Mommy! Blow dry my butt!"

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