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We took the boys to the demolition derby yesterday. They had so much fun, it was hysterical to watch them. Every time there was a good crash, Lukas would jump up and yell, �Yeah!� and Nickolas would cover his eyes and say, �Ooh, crash!� It was adorable. Then we dragged them to a tractor pull. Being a small-town farming-country girl, I have surprisingly never been to a tractor pull and had no idea what one entails. Such as the noise, and the dust. Wow. Do those funny little tractors have any practical use? I can�t imagine plowing a field with a tractor shaped like a racecar, though it would probably go by a lot quicker. We saw a lot of antique tractors, the Budweiser Clydesdales, and tons of random exhibits. And nothing like a county fair to make me feel better about myself: what is with all the women and girls wearing clothes they really shouldn�t be wearing? I am by no means overweight, but I feel fat when I wear tight clothes, or clothes that show my belly (which I can�t anymore, stretch marks) but these girls are very heavy, and wearing very little. Okay, it�s hot, but eewww. I asked Nick, thinking maybe I�m the only one grossed out by fish-white belly folds hanging out of a tiny halter top, but he could offer no explanation except for, �If it�s a little bit, that�s kind of cute. But if it�s out of control sausage-style rolls, that�s um, not cute.� He says maybe I�m classy and that�s why I don�t dress like a streetwalker. Huh. Nobody ever called me classy before. I don�t really think I am, but if he wants to think that, okay. We�ve been getting along rather well for the past few days, ever since he changed his mind on the baby issue. I�ve been happier than I have been for a long time. Just goes to show, I�m easy to get along with when things go my way! I�m kidding of course, my way would be two more and there is no way he�ll be talked into that. Three is going to be it for me, I guess. We�ll find out soon if it worked� For now, it�s back to work. It�s not the same here without any of my friends in the office anymore. I feel so old now that we�ve replaced everyone with very young girls. They look at me like I look at the rest of the office, and that�s scary. I�m not all that grown up, but they all sure seem to think I am. I just try to keep to myself and not say much anymore. You�d think I�d get more work done, but now I just have more time to play on the internet. I�m having a serious internal crisis over my �career path.� I don�t know if this is what I want to do forever. I don�t even like it, but I don�t know very few people who do like their jobs. I�m not sure if it�s worth it to try something else when I already know how to do what I�m doing, if that makes any sense. I always wanted to go back to school and get some kind of degree so I don�t feel like I�m wasting my intelligence (and I�m modest too), but I am so not cut out for school. I have never lasted more than one semester, and I only lasted that long once. I would love to do something worthwhile, criminal psychology has always interested me and I keep starting to take the classes, and then I drop out when I realize how much work is involved. I suppose I�ll have to be content with reading the textbooks and gaining the knowledge, but having nothing to show for it. Ach, depressing. That�s enough. Kids are: Last person who pissed me off: Heard in my house: Miss Anything? pics - 2007-06-05
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