 |
||
|
Current ~ Archives ~ Profile ~ 101 Things ~ Notes ~ E-Mail ~ Rings ~ Design |
||
|
We listen to one of those �We Play Everything� stations here at work, and boy do they mean it. Right now I am sitting in my office listening to �Do Me� by Bell Biv Devoe. Remember that song? That brings me back to when I was like 11 or 12 and I only had two tapes � Bell Biv Devoe and Tiffany. Even then, I sucked. Speaking of sucking, I went to watch my brother play softball yesterday and his team lost 17-0. He was really pissed, but he got free bar pizza so that made it better. And I think they get one or two free pitchers, but I could be wrong. Whatever. Not important. While I was watching the game, Nickolas was playing at the playground. Being his mom, I wanted to play with him. Then in swoops The Weird Kid. �What�s her name?� Okay, so he�s got really curly hair. But you can still tell he�s a boy. �How old is he? When�s his birthday? Does he like to climb the monkey bars?� Ugh. This kid followed Nickolas around the playground forEVER. Danielle and I were making fun of him when he turned his back, and one of the other parents caught us and gave us a stern, disapproving look. That made us laugh even harder. We are so mature. So only jj and Sallie knew about the ex-husband? Huh. Well, the short version is this: when I was sixteen or so, I started hanging out with these hoodlums. (I love that word. Hoodlum.) I fell hopelessly in love with the worst one possible. He was loud, drunk, and mean, but I, being sixteen, figured that he�d just fall in love with me and turn into Prince Fucking Charming. Yeah, that didn�t happen, but I let this guy step all over me (sometimes literally) for like three years. His best friend was from Peru. Awesome guy. Told me over and over again what a loser Mike was and that I really needed to get away from him. (Nice best friend, huh?) Once I passed out drunk � okay, more than once, but this one time I was passed out drunk on Mike�s bed. Mike told all the guys that were over that he didn�t care if they went up there and did what they wanted to me, in fact, he�d start the festivities. The best friend? Punched him right in the face, picked me up, carried me to his car, and took me to sleep on his couch. He�s that kind of guy. When his work visa expired, he didn�t want to go home. Most of his family was already here, and all of his friends. So I married him. Shh. I�m not entirely sure how legal that is. Well, it�s not like he paid me or anything. People get married for all kinds of reasons, right? So yeah, we lived together until INS stopped bothering us, and then I went to jail. And then we got divorced on my 20th birthday. We had ice cream to celebrate, and then he moved to Denver. I met Nick, dumped my loser fianc� who was in prison, and lived happily ever after. I�m really not as white trash as I sound. I promise. Someday I�m going to write a book about all the crazy shit that I packed into the first 23 years of my life. The last three years have been comparatively tame. I run into people from back then and they barely recognize me. They can't believe that someone like me could be married and have kids. For fuck's sake, I sell insurance for a living. Ten years ago, I would have laughed my ass off if you told me that. Of course, I was probably already laughing. I used to laugh a lot. Kids are: "Like a Prayer" Madonna. Last person who pissed me off: Idiot drivers this morning. Heard in my house: "I'm putting my peepee in the peepee cage." Don't. Ask. Miss Anything? pics - 2007-06-05
 <<
#
Bitch Club
?
>>
|
||
|
Brushes - Host - Photos - Reviews - Wishlist - LiveJournal - Cast - Free Stuff - Adagio Teas |
